Another little novel...

[Who2]

I knocked this one out the other month...

Dear Mr --------
Please note that a Nature manuscript tracking system account has been created for you. This is because you are listed as a co-author on the manuscript “Hydraulic Control of Tuna Fins: A New Role for the Lymphatic System in Vertebrates” (reference number: 2016-09-12333), which was recently submitted to Nature.

See I'm not as thick as you think eh ?...
Ps: Mind you, I get a few american mis-directed emails...'I quite enjoy them
Catchy title eh ? and the ending is a killer!!!!!
I'll put it upon Kindle for fishermen & housewives..& scientists interested in Tuna fins.
Iv'e tuna in my kitchen cupboards..never wondered whatever happened to their fins,
"this is a mystery solved. New York Times bestseller list.
Oxford & Cambridge Gazette. 5 stars

[Who2]

Ps: it doesn't end there, I have a similar one about underwater thermal currents.....

The corresponding author is solely responsible for communicating with the journal and managing communication between co-authors. Please contact the corresponding author directly with any queries you may have related to this manuscript.

You can now use a single sign-on for all your accounts, view the status of all your manuscript submissions and reviews, access usage statistics for your published articles and download a record of your refereeing activity for the Nature journals. Please check your account regularly and ensure that we have your current contact information.

In addition, NPG encourages all authors and reviewers to associate an Open Researcher and Contributor Identifier (ORCID) to their account. ORCID is a community-based initiative that provides an open, non-proprietary and transparent registry of unique identifiers to help disambiguate research contributions. If your manuscript is published, linkage of your ORCID account will allow your article to be automatically added to your ORCID profile upon publication.

Ps: "They make us authors jump through hoops you wouldn't believe..

[Who2]

I should have researched dogs, oh! well better luck next time....

Dear Dr Pavlov

"Thank you for submitting your manuscript entitled "Hydraulic Control of Tuna Fins: A New Role for the Lymphatic System in Vertebrates", for consideration. I regret that we are unable to publish it in Nature.
In this case, we do not feel that your paper has matched our criteria for further consideration. We therefore feel that the paper would find a more suitable outlet in another journal.

As an alternative you could try our forthcoming sister title, Nature Ecology & Evolution"

[newcastle]

Are you, by any chance, a fan of David Thorne.

He has an excellent way of dealing with difficult correspondence. For example :

http://www.27bslash6.com/chairs.html

[Horus]

That guy is hilarious

[Who2]

Well, good morning.
I have just returned from a very pleasant rooftop evening meal with friends at the busiest hotel in Luxor.
I'm not telling you the name, food wonderful, wine beer & brandies in abundance and I do not even drink brandy.

Young people who will all return home to Berne and tell their all friends just how wonderful Egypt is.
Forget f***'in tourists they are never ever coming back, "goddit ?
But if you know your business and your customer's requirements you will always be busy....
"Nighty night I'm now off to watch Harley & The Davidsons episode 2.....

Ps: I know this has nothing to do with the above but couldn't be ar*ed @1.30am starting a new post, please forgive....

[Brian Yare]

The missing tuna fins probably end up in sharks' fin soup.

[Dusak]

The missing tuna fins probably end up in sharks' fin soup.

They surly it would be called tuna fin soup, trade description laws and all of that.

[Brian Yare]

I had always assumed that a Tuna was a sort of Shark until I looked it up. Appears to be closer to a Mackerel. Mea culpa.