Do Euro Women change their outlooks when married to Egyptian

Discuss the problems that can occur in relationships with differing cultures and help overcome any barriers that exist.

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Chocolate Eclair
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Do Euro Women change their outlooks when married to Egyptian

Post by Chocolate Eclair »

I have never asked this question of anyone, but do European Women change their outlooks when married to Egyptian men, or do they carry on as normal...

Do they pander to whims once married?

Do they do what the man wants them to do or do they compromise?

Do they still drink when out in Company?

Do they loose all their identity?

Do they still have a great time like they do in Europe?

How do they feel when the husband chooses a 2nd or even a 3rd wife? do they feeel hurt, do they feel rejected when the husband jumps out of one bed into their bed again? Don't tell me it does not happen I know it does, and I know where it is happening...

What do they feel when they spend all their money on buildings cars etc, then go back to Europe for a holiday and find the husband has moved his other wife in and changed the locks, leaving them homeless and penniless. Again I know this happens...

How do 60+ age group ladies feel being seen out with men young enough to be their grandchildren? do they realise they are a laughing stock or not???

On saying this I do appreciate that there are some Egyptian men that are very westernised and have modern outlooks and appreciate having a European wife as a wife and not a trophy...

This is not a pretentious post its me wondering all these things and reasons why may be more forthcoming when people use AKA names...


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Post by Angela »

Chocolate Eclair wrote:I have never asked this question of anyone, but do European Women change their outlooks when married to Egyptian men, or do they carry on as normal...

Do they pander to whims once married?

Do they do what the man wants them to do or do they compromise?

Do they still drink when out in Company?

Do they loose all their identity?

Do they still have a great time like they do in Europe?

How do they feel when the husband chooses a 2nd or even a 3rd wife? do they feeel hurt, do they feel rejected when the husband jumps out of one bed into their bed again? Don't tell me it does not happen I know it does, and I know where it is happening...

What do they feel when they spend all their money on buildings cars etc, then go back to Europe for a holiday and find the husband has moved his other wife in and changed the locks, leaving them homeless and penniless. Again I know this happens...

How do 60+ age group ladies feel being seen out with men young enough to be their grandchildren? do they realise they are a laughing stock or not???

On saying this I do appreciate that there are some Egyptian men that are very westernised and have modern outlooks and appreciate having a European wife as a wife and not a trophy...

This is not a pretentious post its me wondering all these things and reasons why may be more forthcoming when people use AKA names...
That is a very stereotypical view Chocolate Eclair, but having been a member of Egypt related forums for years, it's nothing new. I'm still amazed that some people find this topic interesting.

I've been married for 10 years, I don't drink because I choose not to. I've never bought my husband a car or house, we both worked and paid for our home equally. Exactly like young couples do in the UK, CE.

I know of plenty of European women who have happy, equal relationships with their husbands.

No AKA usernames for me.

These stereotypes are so very, very boring. :(
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Post by TonyC »

Angela is right ... CE's questions are so loaded! To prevent the topic cluttering up the How Safe Is Luxor? thread, perhaps it should be transferred to Intercultural Relationships...
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Post by carrie »

For Choc Eclair.
1 No
2 Compromise like anywhere else
3 No because I dont drink
4No
5 If my husband wanted to marry again, and this was discussed before marriage, he knows we would divorce.
6 My husband is fit and healthy, and capable of earning money for what he needs. He has never had one penny from me, this was also discussed before marriage.
7 He is also intellegent, educated and in no way involved in the tourist industry, but as I have said on this forum before I have no stories to tell of how I have been lied to or stolen from. People like me, and there are many, who live here are sooooo boring because people only want to hear about the horror stories.
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Post by Mad Dilys »

I find a purient interest in other peoples marriage arrangements says a lot about the enquirer.

I have step-sons who are in their twenties, why should people laugh at us when we are out together? We have been a family since they were toddlers and they always refer to me as a mother.

Some people are very shallow, I think they are to be pitied really.

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Re: Do Euro Women change their outlooks when married to Egyp

Post by Miriamkhalifa »

Chocolate Eclair wrote:I have never asked this question of anyone, but do European Women change their outlooks when married to Egyptian men, or do they carry on as normal...

Do they pander to whims once married?

Do they do what the man wants them to do or do they compromise?

Do they still drink when out in Company?

Do they loose all their identity?

Do they still have a great time like they do in Europe?

How do they feel when the husband chooses a 2nd or even a 3rd wife? do they feeel hurt, do they feel rejected when the husband jumps out of one bed into their bed again? Don't tell me it does not happen I know it does, and I know where it is happening...

What do they feel when they spend all their money on buildings cars etc, then go back to Europe for a holiday and find the husband has moved his other wife in and changed the locks, leaving them homeless and penniless. Again I know this happens...

How do 60+ age group ladies feel being seen out with men young enough to be their grandchildren? do they realise they are a laughing stock or not???

On saying this I do appreciate that there are some Egyptian men that are very westernised and have modern outlooks and appreciate having a European wife as a wife and not a trophy...

This is not a pretentious post its me wondering all these things and reasons why may be more forthcoming when people use AKA names...
1) I have no idea what "pander to whims" mean.
2) My ex never expected me to "obey" so it was never a problem really...
3) I drank moderately - like I did before and still do.
4) Loose all their identity... Actually I don't think that is possible. What's interresting though, is I find there is a Egyptian part of me - still integrated.
5) I didn't have a very "great time" in Europe, what do you mean by "great time"??
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Post by Mimimay »

MD that is so very, very true.
We have had comments before when we have all been out as a family and for some reason I have been sat alone with my nephew for a short while. He is sixteen years old and so very polite and it can be so embarrassing.
I'm not even going to bother answering such questions.
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Post by pinkmagic »

Ditto what Angela says. Been married nearly 14 years and married when I was 18 and penniless!
Like Angela said we have worked for everything we have together like any other young couple living in Europe, although since having children I now only work part time, so in fact he now bears most of the financial responsibilites!
My identity is and always has been my own. I have a full social life and still drink in moderation.
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Post by Beryl »

'...do European Women change their outlooks when married to Egyptian men?'

Surely the partial succes of any marriage, irrespective of creed, colour or nationality, is that both parties do, to a degree, change their outlooks. Isn't it part of growing and maturing both as a couple and as individuals.
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Post by Chocolate Eclair »

OK I am not prying into others lives its just the horror stries you hear and the things you see happening.. All the things I asked are things which I know have happened and are still happening. Being an equal the same as my wife and listening to what the men say about what they want, its obviously a different world and I just wondered how European Women cope with the change... I appreciate that there are some educated men around and they probably have a good idea on the European Ways..
But I was horrified the other day when a man said he was getting married again because his wife refused him his congicol rights, that to me is a disgrace and maybe he should visit the Vet's. Another saying that the majority of Egyptian men are sex mad, again horrifying, or have I lived a sheltered life? I don't think so!!!
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Post by carrie »

It is true a man can get a divorce if his wife refuses him sex but it also works the other way round this is one of the reasons a wife can apply for divorce because her husband denies her her rights.
The problem here is that you can pick up on all the negative aspects when listening to other people there are good and bad in every culture and I am sorry to say that the women who come here and who are multiple marriers give us all a bad name.
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Post by Mad Dilys »

With respect CE you appear to be a happily married man, an immigrant who is/was happy with the tradititions of his upbringing.

You say that you "know" what has happened and is happening, so what is you post about?

Marriage between two people who are happy with the conditions of the arrangement - whatever they may be - should be of no interest to outsiders.

It is not their business.

You are happy with your marriage, but it is not my business.

I am, Al Hamdulillah, happy with my marriage, but that is not anyone else's business.

Marriage is part of our private life, and private means just that - private. :)
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Post by Maakari »

HEAR HEAR TO the post above!
My very 1st post to the Forum was in the "Introduce yourself spot".
The very next post was from a very sweet man, giving me a very nice warning about the hidden agenda of Anglo/Egyptian marriages. I posted back to reassure him and other members that after 5 years my marriage and happiness was still intact, and that was all i wanted to say and my business was that, My business.
So. we dress as mermaids and whip each other with wet copies of the Luxor times, who cares?!!!! who needs to know? (well everybody knows now dont't they!!!!!!!!)

I didnt know when i first saw this post, was the poster researching for MASTERMIND? MY SPECIALIST SUBJECT IS...................."Intercultural marriages in Egypt and serial marriers of Luxor"
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Post by Brian Yare »

Maakari

I don't think that I have ever been called sweet on this forum, but thank you. I wish you well.
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Post by carrie »

There are at least two european couples married to each other here in Luxor where the wives also have an Egyptian husband, is this the norm for european married people here. Perhaps we should presume so because after all it's not what I have heard it's what I know.
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Post by Angela »

Mad Dilys wrote:With respect CE you appear to be a happily married man, an immigrant who is/was happy with the tradititions of his upbringing.

You say that you "know" what has happened and is happening, so what is you post about?

Marriage between two people who are happy with the conditions of the arrangement - whatever they may be - should be of no interest to outsiders.

It is not their business.

You are happy with your marriage, but it is not my business.

I am, Al Hamdulillah, happy with my marriage, but that is not anyone else's business.

Marriage is part of our private life, and private means just that - private. :)



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Post by Chocolate Eclair »

I at wish at least some of them could look happy. Again I am not prying that is not my intention. but I think I would find it hard if I were a woman, to accept the concept, after coming from a different culture. Those that are happily married then good luck, but there seems to be so many that are not and that is a shame.

I agree that due to Tourism there are a lot of Egyptian Men that are sympathetic to the culture difference, but there are also so many that see a Western Woman like a piec have noticed that this post has attractede of silverare on the Mantleshelf and it is those that I would find hard to see a good longterm relationship. I have noticed that this post has attracted replies from ladies that are in happy relationship and wanting to have a go at me, my original post was not for this, it was to attract the other half who have had a disaster and how they survived, they seem happy to tell people in coffee shops and bars!!!
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Post by Chocolate Eclair »

Sorry about the 2nd paragraph I type fast and being wireless my laptop cannot keep up with me. hope you can work it out
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Post by Chocolate Eclair »

Carrie you may have hit the nail on the head there, but if that is the case what a sad society the western world is. Due to the fact I am european and have a european wife and being an immigrant like it is put, I am happy and content and have been for many many years. I just cannot get my head around the non monogamist way of life, and some of the hidden agenda's it involves. Anyway this subject can run and run, but its not worth taking it any further so hopefully the moderators will stop it. no matter what the truth will never come out on a Forum.

And that is not a dig it is a referral to the original post...
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Post by Goddess »

:) Great post MD. Totally agree.
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