A Forum Complaint

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Winged Isis »

If they saw you smiling they might think you are the infamous IPF in the flesh, so put on your poker face! :|


Carpe diem! :le:

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Kunis »

IPFREELY FOR HONOURY CONSUL

kunis

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by HEPZIBAH »

Kunis wrote:IPFREELY FOR HONOURY CONSUL

kunis
:o :oo Well! Is this a voluntry job or do you get paid for it?


Ohhh perhaps that is a nomination, not your occupation! :roll:
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by DJKeefy »

More complaints from IP Freely (added to this first post too) :D


You see! I told you your forum was crap! There are people on here searching for my earlier posts that you in your wisdom saw fit to share with all and sundry, but its like casting pearls before swine as far as I’m concerned. ( no doubt you will censor that bit out because you lot don’t eat bacon, but I don’t give a **** anyway). So instead of just sitting on your fat Arse all day how about sorting some problems out, it may be your birthday, but so what? We don’t pay you to **** about all day enjoying yourself when we have problems that need sorting out. That REPORT button for example, the ones next to the little Pizza Hut thingy, (another useless flourish on your part) I saw something the other day that I strongly objected too as it contained all sorts of references to a topic very dear to my heart, ergo my social security payments, mobility allowance etc. all of which I need to pay for my holidays to Luxor as the money from my full time job is needed to fund my investment portfolio and my general day to day living expenses. So I pressed the REPORT button and got a reply from someone calling themselves a ******* Terminator and asking if I wanted to be erased or deleted, well **** that for a game of soldiers! I shut down my PC immediately, I wont be pressing that sodding button ever again! So is it not possible to just give us all your private telephone number then we can phone you at all hours to complain about things we don’t like rather than just sitting and sulking to ourselves?

And what’s all this ******** about COOKIES? This is where your ineptitude really shines through, “get rid of the Cookies you cry, get rid of the Cookies” that’s all we ever hear from you! Personally I get ****** off enough with this forum not working properly without me having to stuff a packet of ******* Chocolate Hobnobs down my neck at the same time! Why do you not listen to experienced Web Nerds like myself who know all about Ethernet programming, and 3.5” Floppy *****. In fact I have just upgraded to a phosphorous, monochrome monitor so I can now view your forum in Green, so don’t spare the graphic content, I’m well ahead of most of your members on the technology front.

Now that Warden thing they all keep banging on about, the sooner they get one the ******* better in my opinion, far to many old dogs running about Luxor and shitting everywhere they go, so a bit of control would be useful, how about castrating the males and neutering the bitches? Mind you the wardens here are a waste of space, they are supposed to come around every morning and see to us, but they don’t, you just try typing with your ******* arms strapped at your sides and gripping a pencil between your teeth.

I do like all the repartee that we get on this site, I always consider it is an art form in itself that often gets overlooked and should be used to gently spar with your opponent by throwing little witticisms at each other. So instead of getting all upset a little bit of banter and repartee can often diffuse a tense situation. For example, the other day one of the wardens said to me as he loosened the straps on my jacket “Sorry I’m late, I got tied up”

So quick as a flash I said to him ……….
Spoiler
Show
“**** ***”

I was thinking of actually joining your poxy site, but now I cant be arsed.
Anyway, Happy Birthday

Your friend, IP Freely

PS your Pizza Hut button doesn’t work either, I ordered a Margarita while reading a very long thread, pressed the button and wham! top of the ******* page again.
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Gordon292 »

Excellent excellent excellent.Your right IP FREELY what we want more of is repartee,my mate and I are always taking the p*ss out of each other and it brightens my day as it is like water off a ducks back.I am glad your back IP and I can now totter about my daily duties with a smile.Keep it up please.

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by TonyC »

Taking the p*ss is "water off a duck's back"? Not a nice way to treat our feathered friends! :o

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by JOJO »

DJKeefy wrote:More complaints from IP Freely (added to this first post too) :D


far to many old dogs running about Luxor and shitting everywhere they go, so a bit of control would be useful, how about castrating the males and neutering the bitches?
:lol: :lol: :lol: Why not seeming as the Kennel club doesn't seem to keep them under control! :lol:
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Goddess »

Madam Slow (AKA Moi) has only just caught on to IP Freely. :mrgreen:
Methinks they need to make friends with a member I spotted logged on yesterday mr or Mrs Lewroll.
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by DJKeefy »

Ive still no idea who this is :lol:

Hello Keefy old mate, saying as how that nice lady Hepzebra made an appeal for us more refined posters to pop in and make a few more comments I thought I would let you have my latest observations. Well to be honest mate it has gone a bit downhill since my last visit, all these druggies openly smoking pot on your forum and pissing off all your regulars who only smoke fags and get legless. Mind you it would have to be some pretty strong Tennants Super to equal the fantasies of that guy Fridge Magnet, I mean, its like something out of the ******* Hobbit reading some posts, how can anyone reply to that? even worse is that other bloke who keeps going on about oral sex with Monitor lizards while having a bath in Mint and they say it doesn’t addle your brain! Mind you I suppose when you compare it with using other injected drugs you cant really get Hepatitis from a contaminated sprig of mint unless it sticks in your Arse, not sure about oral sex with a Monitor lizard though.

Now another thing, what is the point in having a ******* flag under your name if everyone just picks whatever ******* nationality they fancy. I can understand the confusion if you are spaced out on pot or you live in the UK because most of us here haven’t got a ******* clue which countries flag we should be flying either, I think that the Romanian one is in the lead at the moment. It is getting really stupid, just imagine if the Welsh wanted one of their own, its bad enough when they con you into buying one of those little plastic ones with a red lizard on it to stick on your caravan rear window, I have so many on mine I can hardly see the huge line of traffic behind me as I go over the Horseshoe Pass in my Trebant.

I see that Gordon292 has not been around much since you insulted him, which is a shame since I noticed that he lived in Chester and as I pride myself as being a bit of an historian I thought I would share this with you. Did you know that there is an ancient law still in force in Chester, that says you can legally kill any Welshman you find within the city walls after 6 pm if they are carrying a Bow and Arrow? So how about we organise a free P*ss up, barbeque and singing contest, centred around an archery competition (mandatory to bring your own bow) for about 7 pm next Saturday? If nothing else that should lure a few of the ******** in. Not may I add that I have anything in particular against the Welsh, its all that ******* singing that does my head in and of course (unlike myself) their complete lack of tolerance towards other ethnic groups.

Have you ever seen that film Zulu? Well there they are banging huge spears on their shields and shouting “Kill, Kill” at the top of their voices and that Ivor Emanuel twat gets up and starts singing that song about My fanwy, which seems a strange thing to sing about sex when someone’s trying to kill you don’t you think? Anyway them Zulus get really P*ssed off at him and throw loads more spears and start shouting “Kill, Kill” all over again. So instead of just shutting his stupid face and saying **** all, he jumps up again and starts singing another one called A Ei Di'r Deryn Du which I believe translates from the Welsh as Blackbird will you go? Well that particular racist remark sent them into a ******* frenzy and they all start jumping up and down and stamping their feet, pointing their spears, showing their arses and shouting “Kill, Kill” even louder than before. Well you know what these Taffs are like once they get started you can’t shut them up, so up he jumps again and starts singing Men of Garlic and Sosban Fach at the top of his voice, I mean, what the Fach is a Sospan anyhow? It was then that the little Cockney twat drags him back and says “For ***** sake Ivor, sing something they know” and that’s why the Cockney was awarded the Victoria cross for services against the Welsh by Victoria’s son Albert, who was of course the Prince of Wa …l … e ………. Oh . ********!

Later I may write you up a piece on the Battle of Culloden, the War of the Roses and the Cornish rebellion of 1497.

Tolerance and peace to all
IP Freely
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Bullet Magnet »

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Thoroughly enjoying your Posts by Proxy, I.P Freely.

Peace
:lv

DJKeefy wrote:Ive still no idea who this is :lol:


Jesus Keefy, Please..!!! . . . :cool:
The only way that is possible, is if you were a Mac user..

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Phantom »

Looking forward to the Cornish rebellion !
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave ............

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Gordon292 »

The sun is shining here in the UK and things could not be better for me as quite by chance I went on computer and found another post from IPFREELY which it appears is by proxy!.
Once again a brilliant post and I will be smiling all day now about what he has written.Why cant everyone have a sense of humour like him.
I would also like to give sincere thanks to IPFREELY for his support in referring to what he describes as an insult directed at me.
It has taken a while for this latest post from IP and I cant wait for the next one.You are a genius.Many thanks.

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Gordon292 »

Me thinks I must be out of favour or to put it another way not the flavour of the month right now.
My reason for that comment is because I sent 2 private messages to DJ with an apology for doing so but no acknowledgement at all.I sent him the PMs as I was going to try to send to the web site address a very funny article which I thought along with the genius I P FREELYs posts would give people something to smile about,which is something we all need right now.
So if I have offended you DJ then my sincere apologies as no offence was meant at all as I am not that type of person.

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by DJKeefy »

Gordon292 im beginning to think you are stalking me :roll: you seem to have a thing about mentioning me in virtualy every post you make, maybe you have a secret crush on me :lol:

I have been extremely busy the last few days, I do get lots of PM's and emails and sometimes I dont answer them instantly :)
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Gordon292 »

Some people will call this plagarism but I am forced to because I am going to use a few of my favourite posters vocabulary.These are expletives such as you must be f--king joking to sugest I have a secret crush on you.And as to yet again refering to me as a stalker well listen to the kettle calling the pot black.If anyone is a stalker it is you and by all reports a rather avuncular one to.
I challenge you to show me or name me postings where I have virtually named you in those posting.I guarantee there wont be as many as you falsely claim.
I think your animosity towards me was because as someone who has set up a website about Luxor you did not know where TC was.
Any way the good news is some time ago I vowed never to send a posting to TA and as I feel you have gone a bit too far this time I vow never to send a posting to Luxor4u.
So you can carry on sitting behind your desk full of your own self importance and insult some other innocent person with your bitchy back biting.
What I fail to understand is I have only sent you a PM once and you are the head moderator in fact you are Site Administrator so who the hell should I try to convey certain subjects to.Nothing in any PM or postings I have sent in the past have been abusive or insulting.

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by DJKeefy »

Did you not see the laughing smilie :roll:
If anyone is a stalker it is you and by all reports a rather avuncular one to.
Hmmmm from someone who does not know me, yet posts the statement in the quote above, now I wonder who your friends are :roll:
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by JOJO »

Oooer that was all very random- cough cough :mrgreen: So the question is "Is Gordon the Gopha or the the organ grinder"? lol!!!! :mrgreen:
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by DJKeefy »

Well it shows I P Freely is still reading the forums, here's an email sent to me in response to Gordon292


Dear Gordon292,
The reason I have not made any comments lately was down to me having injured my tentacles, it is a long story so I won’t bore you with the details. I had planned a holiday in Egypt that included a stay in Sharm el sheet so that I could do some snorting in the Red Sea. So because I didn’t want to be lumped in with all those other ******* ignorant Brits with beer bellies and builders A*se cracks and who wouldn’t know culture if it poked them in the ******* eye with a sharp stick, I decided to go upmarket. So off I went to Primart, well actually it was a toss up between them and Matalan or Poundstrecher, but Primart won because I had just received my disability giro so I was feeling a bit flush, shame there isn’t one in Egypt with all those DHSS giro’s that need cashing and it would help the tourists to cash theirs as well.

Anyway, while getting myself a new shell suit and some socks to go with my new leather sandals, I happened to pass the swim wear section and there it was, a Mankini!
“Now that is just the dogs ********” I thought to myself and knowing what a bunch of ******* prudes these Egyptians are I decided to buy myself one. They were available in my size 3XL and all in day-glo colours at no extra cost, so I got myself a bright yellow one as being a reserved sort of person I did not want to stand out when I was on the beach, my wife also bought herself one, but as they are quite narrow at the top her tits keep falling out.

The only problem that I had with mine was some other bits spilling out, not as you may be thinking, the meat and two veg, but rather the undergrowth. So I nipped into the local chemist to see what was available as my Philishave just kept grabbing handfuls of hair a pulling it out which was very painful, they are a complete waste of ******* time on anything other than stubble. After wandering around for a while and getting suspicious looks from the chemist I told him my problem,“Try this Veet for Men” he said, “it will gently remove unwanted hair” Well mate if your idea of gentle is to apply a ******* blowlamp to your taters, then you’re a better man than I am Gunga Din. I had already made the mistake of not reading the instructions properly because as a man it is usually unnecessary, so I sat in the kitchen filling out my Mobility benefit claim as the tax and insurance was due on the Jag when I decided to give it a try. I loosened my pants and did a bit of a Mursi by suitably adjusting my tackle then slapped a good handful of Veet for Men down my pants. The bellows of pain could be heard for several streets around as what started off as a gentle warm glow turned into the eruption of Mount ******* Vesuvius inside my pants. I was gripped by an uncontrollable panic at the thought of this now liquefying cream finding its way elsewhere so I charged off upstairs and whipping off my trollies as I went. I leaped into the bath which luckily was full of water at the time and by crouching down with my knees on each side of the bath rim I was able to vigorously swish my tackle under the mixer tap and wash clumps of scorched hair and cream away into the bath. This did not please my wife who was at the other end relaxing in a Raydox bath reading her book and surrounded my scented candles.

As you can imagine I was out of action for some time with severe burns and am currently trying to get one of those no win no fee claims companies to take up my case, but every time I contact them they keep pissing themselves laughing and put the phone down on me, unsympathetic *******. I did go back and bollock the chemist, but he is a total waste of space. I went to him once before because of constipation and he gave me a repository and said to put it in my back passage. Well we live in a row of council houses and we do not even have an entry (you have to walk all the way round to get to the back) never mind a back passage so I put it in the back bedroom instead. When I called in for the Veet for Men he asked me if the repository had worked, so I told him that for all the ******* use it had done I may as well of shoved it up my arse.

Anyway Gordy, you don’t mind me calling you that do you? as I notice a few people on here get a bit ****** off about shortening names, I see that this Keefy bloke is still making a total **** up of running this forum, half the pictures you click on here are the size of ******* postage stamps, so what’s that all about then? I only have a .3 mega pixel camera and get bigger pictures than that! What are they using to take pictures with, a ******* box Brownie? Now as to this recover thingy you were on about, I reckon you have to be a bit of a thick twat not to figure this one out, if you happen to live in an out of the way shithole with a bit of copper wire strung on a few poles and everyone and his ******* Granddad are tapping into it, then you connect it to a pile of crap at the other end and then give it to someone to use who couldn’t type without sticking his tongue out, then what do you expect? These computer machines are very complicated and should not be used by unskilled people as they could cause serious damage to the interwebnet, these people would be better employed rubbing Veet on their balls.

Kind Regards, IP Freely.
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Dusak »

I like this person, total respect. Born a tw*t, always a tw*t, but it takes a true tw*t to pull it off. Hemorrhoidious 4 BC
Last edited by Dusak on Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by hatusu »

Dear Mr Freely - could you give me advance warning of any more of your posts as I have to make sure Im not in a public place when I read them. The hotel guests get worried when Im sitting in front of my laptop with my shoulders heaving and tears rolling down my face.

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