A Forum Complaint

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by timetraveller » Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:26 pm

Mr Freely, I have no clue as to your identity but you do seem vaguely familiar. Do you by any chance have a relative called Borat who hails from Kazakhstan or thereabouts? He has a similar line in banter and has been known to sport a very fetching day-glo Mankini! :)



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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Christine » Tue Oct 02, 2012 12:34 pm

Brilliant, ive not posted on here for ages and have just laughed myself silly, bloody clever, keep em coming Mr Freely !! ;)
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Winged Isis » Tue Oct 02, 2012 12:38 pm

Welcome back, C! How's Mr C these days?
Carpe diem! :le:

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by denisegr » Tue Oct 02, 2012 2:02 pm

Mr Freely today for the very first time I chanced upon your ramblings, the latest one with the veet for men especially had me in tears of laughter, long may you reign, bless you for brightening my day. :lol:
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Goddess » Tue Oct 02, 2012 2:20 pm

:lol:

Thanks IP!
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Gordon292 » Mon Oct 08, 2012 12:21 pm

Dear Mr Freely,
Many thanks for your very swift reply to my request and post saying that this poxy forum needed some much needed mirth.As I type this I am still shedding tears of laughter.
I have to be honest though and apologize for my delay in a reply,but the fact that you addressed it to me created a dilemma for me.You see some time ago I vowed never to send a reply to the forum,but in the same way that the story of your tentacles is a long one so is this so we will gloss over it.
Last week something cropped up on the 4u website that I did hope was a lifeline for me,but more about that later.
Now back to your literary master piece I do hope in the very near future you get to get some sun,sea and sand and your ailment concerning your tentacles improves.You have given quite a few people joy with your relating the problems with veet for men.One question I would like to ask is,when you rushed to the bath which was luckily filled with water,when your were perched with knees on the edge of the bath and splashing the crown jewels,were you facing the wife,or facing away from her,if it was the latter well that would not be a pretty site now would it.
You mentioned Sharm el Sheet as your destination but why not think about Turdhaga at least from there it is only a 4 hour journey to Luxor,and there you may bump into some of your admirers.You may even bump into members of the renowned KC.
When and if you do manage to get to either resort I hope in the future we get to see on this forum a photo of you resplendent in you bright yellow Mankini.
Of course I do not mind in the least your calling me Gordy I have been called many things,besides there are more things in life to worry about than being uptight about your name being abbreviated or shortened.In the past people have said things about me such as,(oh him,he's so laid back it's a wonder he does not fall over,)or (oh him he'd laugh if his willy was on fire).One year some time ago I managed to get a flight only at short notice to Tunisia for 7 weeks for the price tag of £49.Someone on hearing about that is reported to have said,(he travels light,he has his knickers in his pocket) make of that remark what you will.
Now if I may, back to the lifeline I had hoped had been thrown in my direction.Last week articles appeared on the 4u forum which were in the same vein as yours ie funny and p-ss taking and I did have a slight suspicion that you and this person were one and the same person,in other words you were this other persons alter ego.
So I sent this person a PM stating that as a man with principals and also a person who likes to think I have integrity would he be honest and disclose if I was correct with my suspicion.That's me by the way with principals.However it seems I was barking up the wrong tree,I can't wait for a motorbike to pass so I can chase barking my head off.
Maybe I did not word my request to this person correctly as in my PM to him I used the words,scouts honour and it seemed to evoke bad memories for him.He relates to me that when he was in the scouts,after every meeting he would leave the meets with certain parts of his anatomy aching.He then openly admits to joining the Brownies, have not had the nerve to send him another PM to ask if he is taking the p-ss or become trans-sexual.As sure as eggs are eggs I most certainly did not wish to be called a TROLL or even stalker.
Even now at this late stage I keep perusing your articles and his to perhaps find just one little clue but I fail to find a clue.Your articles are reading between the line full of mirth and hilarity but reading between the lines of the other person I detect a hint of spite.
He certainly has a thingy, or a bee in his bonnet about a wee Scottish lassie which I think is a little unfair to say the least.This wee Scottish lassie maybe opinionated but she is certainly not self opinionated.

So that's it Mr Freely,I hope you accept and understand my delay in replying and I would like to wish you and your wife good health for the future.
Sincerely Gordy.
PS, I see that with your excellent post it has inadvertently created a clique with certain members of the forum.It would be great if at some point we were all in Luxor at the same time and were to meet up.No doubt the peels of laughter would echo through the whole of Luxor.
PPS,Just in case someone without a sense of humour finds my reply to Mr Freely offensive,then tough sh-t,as it has all been tongue in cheek,and as Kenny Everett would say, all in the best possible taste.Peace to everyone.

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Dusak » Mon Oct 08, 2012 4:21 pm

Hello Mr. Gordon 292, (your not any relation to that gopher chappy are you?) Anyway I feel that I need to compliment you and IP for giving us all another dose of Schweppes. I don't really understand about the Scouts thing unless its a privates joke but I too had a bad experience when I applied to join this most esteemed group of up and coming do-gooders but had to make a hasty retreat when asked would I like to see Mr. Baden Powell's toggle and perhaps even hold it. Brownies? I thought that these were something the Yanks eat by the box. As for integrity, its a fine quality to have, but would make the likes of internet forums a bit boring. For you to read between the lines lines shows that you have incredible eyesight and obviously do not indulge to much in self flagellation to any great degree.

Your wish to become the new Sherlock Holmes of the net is commendable, but wasted, as the grate master of crime solving himself needed at least one clue to start the balls rolling. I too have posted to a WSL, but as I have never met her, can't comment on her dress size. But, my WSL is, I believe, a nurse and I hold all nurses in high regard, especially the ones in little tight uniforms. My first wife was a nurse and she came in very handy in treating the stab wounds to my back which, for some reason, I was continually receiving from unseen hands. And I don't think that you have to apologize for your slowness in replying to whoever as I'm sure they realize that people slow down in relation to their age, having to make copious notes to constantly remind them what they were doing in the first place, end page reminders to tell them when to go for a ****, that sort of thing.

I luckily, do not have this problem, I'm a spontaneous creator of words. I think, I type, I complete. This is good for me as I suffer from a rare form of dyslexia, (and when you are dyslexic, the word dyslexic is a very difficult challenge) which I only discovered when I was in my teens, as no matter how many people I told to go away in the most impolite way, there was never any reaction as I later found out, I was in fact saying ''cuffofk''. This went on for many years until I started to take Japanese language lessons as I remembered my old dad, after the war, when an old film was showing, especially the Bridge over that queer sounding river was on, he'd take his teeth out and, pointing at the telly, would spit out, ''Them fucki'n Japs get everywhere son'' So me, thinking that this could be useful to me in the future as I was already heavily into Origami, took lessons in the noble art of Banzai as I fancied a long life span having been told once you take an active part in this art you live for 10,000 years, of course then, no one bothered to explain the full implications to me.

It was only when the teacher heard me tell a stuck up little snot from Somalia who was there to learn the accompanying art of Kamikaze to enable him in the easy capture of Alligators back home, to ''cuffofk'' that put a quick end to my class. He approached me and began to bow towards me, so I, having spent half my life in the back alleys, stuck the head on him first thinking that he was going to nut me for bad behavior, but was in fact, about to compliment me on my perfect Japanese accent. The end result was I never did learn the language as the Government run school they sent me to as a result of this unfortunate misunderstanding was more interested in teaching me how to cut neat little circles in a window to get my hand through and picking locks. Which is good really cos you don't see many Jap's about so I think it would off been a wast of time. Not all fathers give the best advise.

The only good thing to come out off all this is that I am now a level 3 Dan Black-belt in Origami enabling me to fold people up in stitches at short notice. Anyway, good luck in your pondering's as I now have to go and polish my dumbbell's.
P.S. As for the peels of laughter, unfortunately the people that I know only laugh when they are about to or are in the middle of or after they have farted. So no jolly times there.
P.P.S this posting is not intended to resemble or represent any persons living or dead or on 'er.

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Christine » Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:35 pm

Hello WI , i am fine thankyou for noticing that im back, Mr C is doing relatively well ;)
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by DJKeefy » Tue Jan 22, 2013 7:14 am

Another email. :lol:


Hello again from IP Freely

Well mate, it’s that time of the year again when we all wish each other a Happy New Year and all that, so I just wanted to say, your forum is still crap!

First of all what was all that snowflake ******** about? I spent several hours on the phone to those twats at Sky who provide my waistband service complaining about the poor reception I was getting, my telly was OK but my monitor had all those flakey bits like ******* dandruff floating everywhere. Luckily for me there were enough complaints to you from all the moaning ******** on here, so I was able to sort it out without Sky’s help. I even clicked on that refresh button to get rid of it and got something that you were cheerily calling Christmas Wallpaper that popped up, what a ******* joke that was! Christmas Wallpaper? it looked more like that cheap crap they were selling in Aldi along with their “Three bird Roast” more like a Pigeon, Starling and a ******* Jenny Wren stuffed up each others arse by the looks of it. Anyway you wont catch me wrapping my ******* presents in your Christmas paper, even the few sheets I did manage to print out before the ink ran out and my printer caught fire were very small and looked crap.

I notice that you have not taken me up on my earlier suggestion for a “I am a miserable twat” button that can be linked to these sort of things and make complaining by us regulars a bit easier, although you have in your infinite wisdom decided to add a Like button. This lot on here barely ******* speak to each other let alone “Like” each other, a more miserable bunch of twats I have yet to come across, so don’t expect much action on that score matey, a bit like putting tits on a bull in my opinion. Cause as you know I am quite savvy when it comes to using comptometers and if I can’t figure it all out then how are all the thick ******** on here going to cope? I mean, have you seen the flags lately? Most of the thick ******* don’t even know where they live, you may as well just let them pick a sweet from a tin of Cadburys ******* chocolates and put that up instead of a flag for all the relevance it has. As for choosing the right colour to denote their sex, well half the time I don’t know if I am reading a post from a man woman or a ******* transvestite, I suppose all them with that grey colour by their names can’t make up their minds, no doubt living where you lot do that’s hardly surprising is it?

You do have to choose your words very carefully on that West bank of yours as I once found out when walking back with my shopping bag past those coliseums of Mormon statues and stopping off at one of those little shops nearby and asking for a Banana Split, it was one of the most embarrassing and painful experiences I have ever had while on holiday in Egypt since calling into that ******* bakery you all bang on about and asking a customer about Chocolate Hob Knobs and Fairy Cakes. Although on the subject of severe pain that twat Herbert Dyson has got a lot to answer for, he claims to have made the worlds most superior cyclone ball cleaner, but he is a ******* liar and it is no better than doing it by hand, it is even more painful than using that poxy Veet for Men, but it did give them a good laugh at the local accident unit trying to free me from it, but it has ****** up my police CRB check for working with young children or becoming a scoutmaster.

I see you have recently been having some of those elections in your country and that you now have a new president named Morsel, so maybe now all this constant begging will stop and MFI will not have to keep helping you out of the **** all the time, but if they do be very careful as the last time I had something off them ******** there was a shelf missing from a wardrobe and one of those bracket thingies on the doors was broken, that’s why I always call them MONEY FROM IDIOTS, get it MFI? So when I saw they were giving all you lot some money I thought yes how true! money from idiots and I’m the ******* idiot that’s handing it out. Well not exactly me as in a way I suppose I am a state employee as they pay me all my benefits, I suppose that all your pensioner lot were happy this year with the Cold Weather Payment, no doubt most of you bought a ******* air cooler or a fridge with your handouts so stop moaning about frozen pensions, come and live here and you will soon find out what ******* frozen means. I invested mine in an inflatable boat as it has not stopped pissing down for 8 months, we had so much of it that my skin looks like a piece of tripe apart from the raw bits between my legs as a result of the Veet treatment.

While trolling through the back pages of this forum and doing a search for “Elections & West Bank” I must have mistyped the search criteria and found myself on a thread with people banging on about illegal Erections on the West bank and people being screwed, so I carried on reading thinking I had once again found the original porn site I was looking for when I stumbled across your forum by mistake all that time ago. Have you ever heard of the word Serendipity? It means “a lucky accident” and I have often thought of it in that way myself as otherwise I would never have made new friends like you and Gordy. How is he by the way? I was sorry to see that he embarrassed himself by writing to that bloke Prosac thinking that he was me and then getting abuse from him, it’s bad enough that Gordy has to live close to those Welsh twats without being subjected to offensive remarks like that from a stranger, no wonder that blokes ******* neighbours have tried to burn his house down and they chuck paint down his steps. I have suffered at the hands of these people myself with accusations of intolerance, not mention homophobia, haemorrhoids and wikipedia.

But I digress, and on the subject of erections, I have one of those radio ham ******** living near to me (I suppose you call them something different where you live with you lot not liking pigs and all that, probably yours are called radio lambs or something more acceptable to you Muslins) anyway, his garden backs onto mine. We live in a subsidised council bungle low that I was able to deviously obtain by claiming invalidity benefit and wheelchair access due to my recent unfortunate accident and the need to walk with a stick, so hopefully with the money I save and the various grants I can afford more holidays in your lovely country as I don’t need to sign on so often with a sick note. Anyway the other day I opened the bedroom window to see this ******* big aerial about 20 foot high sticking up above my fence so I immediately complained to the local council about it, here is what I wrote to them:

Dear Sir/Madam
I wish to complain about an unexpected erection that appeared at the bottom of my garden, my wife was deeply shocked to see it and it came as a great surprise to her to see something as large as this sticking up without any prior warning. It must be able to go up and down again overnight because at first my wife failed to notice as she often sits in the flower beds and peas on a small seat near to the fence. At first she did not see it, but became so agitated when she saw it rising up again that she grabbed it with both hands and started to shake it vigorously, hoping no doubt that it would go back down again and become less visible, but all that happened was that the end of it was lashing around all over the place knocking some apples off a nearby tree. It is unfair that my wife had to look at an erection like this first thing in the morning, it had obviously occurred overnight as it was not there when we went to bed, but since seeing my wife’s face looking at him over the fence his erection has not happened again, I trust you will take appropriate action to stop future erections taking place.

Yours, IP Freely etc.

While I am on the subject of modesty may I say that I take objection to all those prudish ******** that try to tell me how to dress when I’m on holiday. As you know I visited the Red Sea this year, which by the way is not ******* red! another ******* scam I suppose! I had expected to be swimming in something similar to warm Raspberry cordial like you buy in Asda, but no, just some salty **** like you get at Margate, my favourite British resort by the way (apart from all those scruffy Cockney tossers that you find there lowering the tone of the place, I do wish they would stay at home) and as for the sand! well I have seen better stuff on a ******* building site, I suppose it’s where they dumped all the crap from those pyramids they are building. Anyway no one objected to my swimwear and apart from the lower half of my Mankini riding up my bum crack because it had shrunk slightly with all that salt they put in the sea to kill off the germs, I went unnoticed apart from the inner thigh burns due to the Veet treatment and the damage caused by that ******* Dyson ball cleaner, but I did look quite tidy below when compared to those Russian women. It is full of Russians and Poles and other drunken Slavic races who unlike us Brits have no ******* dress sense whatsoever and must be at least a size 5XL compared to my own svelt like 3XL, but them Poles are pretty good at playing Scrabble and can get rid of all those X’s Y’s & W’s just by spelling their pissing names, cheating ********, but it gave some of those Gigolos a surprise when they realised that having a Czech up meant something quite different.

The good news is that I am considering visiting Luxor this year and that Lucosade Hotel on the West bank looks quite nice so I may be tempted to stay there so I can join in with the quizzes and go to the cinema evenings with all your friends, maybe I can persuade Gordy to come along and we can have a meeting in Popeye’s place or whatever that sailor was called and you can pay for all the booze. It will be a great night out and it may help to raise the cultural level of Luxor as I am prepared to give hysterical lectures in the mummification museum about various subjects that I am an authority on and lets face it there is **** all else going on. Obviously I will steer well clear of any sort of religious topics as it is so easy to inadvertently cause offence as people can be less tolerant than myself, especially the ******* Welsh, Jocks, Scousers and those Cockney twats, so I will probably just lecture on my latest work entitled “Buddha, Story of a big fat *******” so as not to cause any unintentional upset.

You could always offer me and my mate Gordy a free stay in one of those villas that you own, but not anywhere near that one that keeps having bits dropping off it and leaks all over the place, that’s all I need on holiday, ******* jack hammers going all day and night with some twat playing bagpipes in his garden with flashing disco lights. Or near that other bloke who’s neighbours keep trying to set fire to his ******* house by burning bananas. So keep your fingers crossed that I can visit you this year, I just need to weigh up whether to go to Margate and get ****** whilst wearing a “kiss me quick” hat or staying in a house next to the singing Jock, being burnt alive as I sleep by a mad farmer, or being stuck on a boat at the Esna Lock because there is no ******* diesel.

I was considering making myself a member on here so that I could interact more with your members and offer travel, cultural and other social advice, but I am having problems with some of the language spoken on here, what the **** is a “Whaaalaaaaa” or a “Sah” or an “Inshalia”? I know that La Shookran means **** ***, but what does “Hum diddly do la” mean? People write things like “I will see you tomorrow”, “Hum diddly do la” or “I hope the operation goes well” “Hum diddly do la” what is up with these people? don’t they speak ******* English?

Anyway matey, look after yourself, I read your forum every day so that I can criticise it as much as possible and will keep dropping by to see what further balls ups you are making of it, but I do appreciate that it is hard work with this lot, I will contact you again in due course “Hum diddly do la”

Your bestest friend, IP Freely
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by gd47 » Tue Jan 22, 2013 10:52 am

Absolute genius :lol: !!
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Bullet Magnet » Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:11 am

Brilliant . . :lol: :lol: :lol:

This guy takes no prisoner's, rip's eveyone to shred's and ***** off..Brilliant. :cool:

Moresalami IP Freely, Ashoefuck bograt !! .. :up
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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Dusak » Tue Jan 22, 2013 12:30 pm

Dear IP'y,

I'm absolutely ecstatic to see that you have recovered from your Techno Phoebe problems and are back at the helm once again. Funny that as I was just typing about you this morning and wella, you pop up faster than one of your erections. But then again I should talk. Yesterday I set up my first Skippy account, logged on and thought it was funny that the bloke I was talking to on the screen not only looked like me but was repeating every thing that I said. Not only that but he had the same picture on the wall behind him as I have. Still can't get me head around it. Us oldies eh, what are we like?

I thank you for your kind words concerning the pyromaniac farmer neighbour of mine but since he has been gelded he has quietened down a lot. Drip and Dab the painters, I am happy to report, where given the brush off today. I too have friends with benefits but mine aren't as free spending as your's. But I agree, Luxor is slowly turning into a welfare state as so much benefit money is pouring into the city from the UK branch.

It was a pity that you had to find it necessary to mention the Scouts again as the memories are still as raw to me as your Veet patches are to you. It just goes to prove that you should never mention to strangers what hides in your closet's.

I'm surprised that your vocabulary does not seem to have improved with time as much as I'd hoped it would have, being given the opportunity to read so many intelligent posts on topics such as mine, Tiddlyboy, Mullitbagnet, and that geezer full of wind, Bagglepuss?

I too had a Mankini some years back, but soon discovered that they where not designed for bulk haulage. Just too uncomfortable for the more discerning left/right dresser. I actually got a lump in my throat while reading this which I presumed at first, was an emotional reaction to past memories but turned out to be just another ball of phlegm due to the new ******** flavor of my shesha tobacco. Its just a little to raw for us Brit's.

I think that you will fit in nicely at the Lucosade as I hear that the only qualification that one need's to enter the quizzes is the ability to consume copious amounts of booze and a copy of the answers for the ex-pat free loaders so none of the visitors have a chance of winning. This allow's them to slap each other on the back's in congratulations at winning a tight game. Having said that, there are still a couple of thick twat's there that still loose. Anyway, you could still be in with a chance. ''Hum diddly do la''

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by hatusu » Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:32 pm

We would be honoured to entertain you at the Lucozade Mr Freeley but there's just one thing that worries me. As the West Bank is a little behind the times (about a hundred years on average) and you are at the cutting edge of fashion, Im a little apprehensive at the effect your mankini would have on the residents here. However, as I picture you as the smooth, suave sophisticated type, a la Noel Coward, could you bring along your cravat and smoking jacket instead?(no need for any trousers of course, it goes without saying, your Eric Morecambe shorts will do nicely)

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Gordon292 » Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:35 pm

Oh dear me,it seems to be one of those days.15 minutes ago I went on the forum and spotted Bullet Magnets question asking as to where Mr I P Freely was and so I replied thanking him for his post.
Then lo and behold I then go on the section,A Forum Complaint and another masterpiece has appeared from the aforementioned person.
So many many thanks to you Sir and I am so glad to see that your absence has not been because of illness.
It would be a great honour to meet up with you on the West Bank if it were ever possible,but I would I feel sure have to have a pocket full of tissues to wipe away the tears of laughter.
I cannot think of a better way to end the day than reading your latest master piece.
The best of health to you and all your family.

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Dusak » Wed Jan 23, 2013 6:18 am

This response is a little like waiting for a bus in the UK. When you want one there aint any, then, when you don't want one, two come along at once.

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A General Discussion

Post by Gordon292 » Fri Jan 25, 2013 1:38 pm

Now I really do hope I have used the right terminology for the subject matter.The reason for my title is because I would like to discuss certain aspects of I P Freely's latest master piece.
On the 9th of January I left Luxor having developed a bad cold 2 days before.On my arrival back in the UK the cold got worse and I have never felt so bad.And then on the 21st January I P's piece appeared and I have been getting better each day and I put that down to all the laughing I have done.So it appears that there is something in the saying,Laughter is the Best medicine.So many thanks Sir on that count.
I tend not to be a person who gives out advice,preferring to describe my comments as suggestions,but a suggestion I would like to make is that I P does not become a member as he said he thought of becoming in his second to last paragraph.I would much prefer it for you to stay anonymous or incognito.
You would also lay yourself open to all sorts of unwanted crap from whingers,people who are permanently inebriated,or even suffer from someone who is definitely suffering from the Hubris Syndrome.You would even stand the risk of being called a Troll as myself and ST have been in the past.Oh I very nearly forgot,you may even be thought of having a secret crush on someone.
Today when checking the site it appears there is a lot of boredom about which I find so sad.Why do I find it sad?well because I can honestly say I have never been bored in my life.
To these people who are bored please go on Amazon and look for a cd by one Blaster Bates.He was a explosives expert who put out a number of albums in the 60's and 70's which were recordings of performances he gave in working mens clubs,institutes and theaters telling the audiences about his work.After listening to a track called,A Shower of Sh-t over Cheshire believe me your boredom will have gone.The best album to go for is the one with the title Laughter with a Bang.Even if you live in Luxor you can still obtain this album as it is available as a MP3 download.
So for heaven sake all you people cheer up it may never happen.

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Dusak » Fri Jan 25, 2013 8:26 pm

Oh Gordon 292. How I weep when the child doth sulk. Laughter, when suffering from a heavy cold could seriously damage the bronchial tract, so be careful its not always a good remedy. It can also cause the odd pee drip as well. I would think that about 88% of members remain anonymous as you know they are there, always watching but never posting like herds of silent Big Brothers. Its left up to us die hard's to keep the thing going. Personally I think that crap is useful, does wonders for the rose's. There's nothing wrong in taking a drink, as long as it 'aint mine. And whats wrong in being a bit of a drama queen? Against just being a bit of a queenie? Some of use just need to shout out and bemoan a little in our attempt to achieve a better understanding as to what makes us tick. (that's when you usually receive the unwanted crap)

I must admit, there are a few that I would love to crush, but in a pubic place as I don't like secrets. As for being called a Troll, this gave you a few moments in the spotlight, a little bit of notoriety to pass onto your grand kids, forever held on your Kindle hard drive. Never been bored? You must have been otherwise you would not be on here as often as you are, you seemingly having a lot of free time on your hands.

Blaster Bates? Yes he was funny and just happened to be an old drinking mate of mine along with the late, grate Fred Dibnah. Both where as tight as fish's arse's when it came to get the ale in.

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Gordon292 » Sat Jan 26, 2013 10:31 am

OH Dusak,how my heart bleeds when people get things totally wrong.Sulk?I have never sulked in my life.Such is my sense of humour that people have been known to make remarks about me such as,Oh him he would laugh if his willy was on fire,so sulking is not in my makeup,but then your used to makeup are you not!.
Any way a few points to make about your article.All my life small coincidences have taken place,and low and behold 2 appear in your opening lines.First of all you mention the Bronchial tract.well I was going to add that at one point I was coughing so much I thought I would damage my lungs.
The second coincidence will take longer to explain.But before I do I would just like to warn you,I am as common as muck.You make mention of the odd pee drip,well I was going to explain that just before going to bed I check to see if I have received any Emails.My eyes then gravitate to the Luxor4u website ond settle on I P Freely's latest epic.I then retire to bed but find that after chuckling to myself I then find I need a wee.Now no way am I infirm,but also as I am no spring chicken I just cannot spring out of bed to rush to the toilet like I used to.
However you will be pleased I hope to know that I have solved the problem.I have bought a supply of incontinence pants and half a dozen cans of air freshener sprays.I am also searching my flat for an old 2 pound empty jam jar which as a long distance lorry driver I used in the cab.Having slept in the cab during some of the coldest nights on record,there was no way I was going to get out of a warm sleeping bag and get out of the cab to have a wee.There I told you I was common did I not.
Pray tell me what line of thought led you to say it is not true to say I have never been bored,and then you say I must be as I go on the L4U website.If that analogy is correct then you must be very,very,very,very,very,very bored because your name crops up twice on the index page,and seven times on the General discussion and Rants page.So your equation just does not stack up.
There is a certain lady from down under who I feel sure would not like to think that you accuse her of being bored,because I see her name under 6 subjects on the index page.
Now on to your comment about my few moments in the spotlight and my little bit of notoriety.well if I was in need of that I have preferred it to have been because I had robbed a bank or been the person who has publicly arrested TB for war crimes.
Before I end a couple of suggestions for your perusal.I noticed while walking all the back streets in Luxor a craze with the kids at the moment is marbles,so why not get yourself a box of marbles and join in.The second suggestion is go out and either buy or rent a motorbike and go racing about Luxor stealing old ladies handbags.Or lay in wait until you see someone struggling along the street carrying shopping bags,and then speed past and try and snatch one.Just think Dusak,I hope I am allowed to call you by name,the adrenalin this would produce would chase away the boredom.
Finally I was pleased to read that you were aware of master bates,and agree he was funny.By the way the fact that you knew him,did that mean you lived in this area.
BY THE WAY ALL TONGUE IN CHEEK.

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Dusak » Sat Jan 26, 2013 11:12 am

I think Gordon 292 that you have taken one Panadol too many. This post, and no insult meant, seems to verge on the rambling but as you state, age seems to be a problem with you now, so I sympathize. You cut near the bone to suggest that I go and torment the old ladies of Luxor by re-distributing their wealth towards myself, although they could, in all probability, afford the loss considering their benefit payments they are in recite off while living here. I'm also sorry to here that you ended up with such a menial task as a truck driver, but I'm sure it befitted some one. Peter Sutclife was a truck driver wasn't he? That's probably where the idea for snatching women off the street came from. Brothers in arms and all that. And to be able to fill a 2pound! jar just goes to prove that you must be full of ****. May I suggest Tenna for Lady's as these are far better for continual drippers. I, like you, seemed to have lost my marble's long ago. You seemed to have missed the point that I was making concerning you being bored and I do not, at this moment in time, feel the need to repeat or explain things in a more truck drivers level of I.Q for your grater understanding. I would find this very boring, it would be like watching ceramics dry I would imagine. I find the art of mastication of words far more enlightening than your attempt at a playground pun. Non of this is tongue in cheek, it all derives from the hart.

PS. You may call me Dusak, for I exist, therefore I am.

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Re: A Forum Complaint

Post by Teddyboy » Sat Jan 26, 2013 11:35 am

Dear friend, denigrating a person for being (at some time) a wagon driver isn't at all clever. Especially when it is coming from someone who delights in "the art of mastication of words" who seems not to be able to spell for toffee! As a sometime wagon driver myself, I still remember the popular slogan from the 70's...."If you've got it; a truck brought it!". It is a very important, honourable and quite highly skilled occupation.

Dusak, please carry on with your amusing and informative posts, and leave the insulting to lesser mortals?

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