Fourth Circle of Hell

[HEPZIBAH]

DANTE’S NINE CIRCLES OF HELL, REIMAGINED FOR LINGUISTIC TRANSGRESSIONS

by JOHN RAUSCHENBERG

I was sent this recently and it makes interesting and amusing reading. The Fourth Circle was particularly good in my opinion.

Fourth Circle:
Hated Abbreviations

ICYMI, this level is for people who use OPAs (off-putting abbreviations) to show off their supposed hipness and/or needlessly confuse others. New abbreviations are constantly being invented and CASJ dropped into conversation. The souls are expected to KTOS (know them or suffer). Good luck with your KLRDT (Keats-like rapidly degenerative tuberculosis) as you’re also subjected to MMMTDs (massively multi-personal medieval torture devices). Are you doing OK? No. You’re doing AWACBE (as well as can be expected), given the MNNTKUWNVECD (mind numbing need to keep up with non-vocabulary-extending cultural dross). In short (but is it really?), it’s annoying AF.

[Horus]

Abbreviations are fine when they are the ones in common usage, NHS, W.H.O. etc. but those that just abbreviate with no explanation are a P.I.T.A. (pain in the arse) as are those who pepper their English prose with Latin or foreign phrases.

[newcastle]

Eighth Circle:
Needless Correctors

The souls in this circle often toured the other circles, mocking the poor souls who suffered there for their poor command of the English language. Little did they know that one of the worst circles was reserved for them and their grating tendency to overcorrect English usage at every opportunity. These are the people who can’t watch an episode of Star Trek without pointing out that “to boldly go” splits the infinitive, who cause you to cringe the instant after you say “I don’t know which restaurant we’re going to.” They are forced to compose tweets for President Trump. The punishment for writing any tweet that is even close to grammatically correct is needless physical corrections to the offender’s body. Very physical and very needless.

I was relieved to see that there isn't a place for those who use Latin or French phrases So...Horus...

But there is one for those who overuse emojis

[HEPZIBAH]

Exactement mon amis, exactement!

Even common usage abbreviations can be misleading when not used initially in a contextual form. N'est pas!



(And now I fall into another of the layer of hell for misuse / abuse of emojis - whoops!)


Edit: I was writing the above when newcastle posted and although I saw he'd made a post I didn't read it before re-clicking submit.
I admit, I possibly fall into a number of these Linguistic Hells.

[newcastle]

Exactement mon amis, exactement!

Even common usage abbreviations can be misleading when not used initially in a contextual form. N'est pas!



(And now I fall into another of the layer of hell for misuse / abuse of emojis - whoops!)


Edit: I was writing the above when newcastle posted and although I saw he'd made a post I didn't read it before re-clicking submit.
I admit, I possibly fall into a number of these Linguistic Hells.

"Mes amis"..... s'il vous plait.

[Dusak]

MT2BON2BABY is OK. A partially nibbled Horus white chocolate head to the winner of the work it out.

[Horus]

I was relieved to see that there isn't a place for those who use Latin or French phrases So...Horus...