Sir Humphrey 'fixes' Brexit.

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Sir Humphrey 'fixes' Brexit.

Post by Hafiz »

Yes Minister – The Brexit Tapes.

It’s a bit late but amusing.

Brexit. Its full of humor. Fools who don’t know what they are doing, others saying they were duped 40 years ago when it was voted on last time. No plan B. Resolute Brits now saying we are right this time but wrong the last. No one saying they know what they have signed up to. Crooks who lied.

The script writers of Yes Minister have been tempted back from death to tell the UK for the 1000th time that they have been duded again by frauds, charlatans and simplifiers. As if they haven’t been adequately warned by decades of third raters and brilliant political satire. They have learnt little and bear the blame for the current mess.

Here is the best of the script and it’s also a useful tutorial for those who now claim after the event that they knew what they were doing before the event. If you didn’t know what you were doing you shouldn’t have done it – as your grandmother told you:
“Sir Humphrey Come in.
Minister I’m told I can find the new permanent secretary of the new Brexit ministry in here.
Sir Humphrey Indeed you can. Sir Humphrey Appleby at your service.
Minister I’m the new minister.
Sir Humphrey Which one?
Minister Which one?
Sir Humphrey Well, I know you’re not the foreign secretary – the hair, you know, big give-away – and you’re not Mr Davis nor Dr Fox.
Minister I’m shocked. I thought the civil service would be better prepared than this.
Sir Humphrey Normally we are. But normally the prime minister puts one person in charge of a new policy initiative, not a job lot.
Minister There is only one secretary of state for exiting the European Union.
Sir Humphrey So where is Mr Davis? We haven’t seen him yet.
Minister He’s over at Chevening.
Sir Humphrey Oh yes, the official residence the PM has ordered him to share with Boris and Liam.
Minister Yes. They’re squabbling over who gets the best bedroom.
…..Sir Humphrey Most good ideas are incompatible with government policy.
Minister Were you in favour of Brexit?
Sir Humphrey I, Minister? I am neither in favour of nor against anything. I am just a humble vessel into which ministers pour the fruits of their labour and their remarkable intellectual endeavours. So tell me – what are we trying to achieve here?
Minister Brexit.
Sir Humphrey I am fully seized of that notion and completely on board of course. But. What does it mean, exactly?
Minister Haven’t you heard the PM? Brexit means Brexit.
…….Sir Humphrey Indeed. So does Brexit mean keeping the City of London involved in some or all of European banking, financial and regulatory activity, or trade tariffs? Does it mean curtailing the movement rights of UK nationals as well as EU citizens? Does Brexit perhaps include revising our own governance as EU law recedes from our sceptred isle? Does Brexit mean the legislation of new health and safety regulations, employment and all other laws where we have lost competence to Brussels, including the drafting of 30 or 40 new bills for each Queen’s speech for a decade or two?
Minister Um – not sure – can you clarify that for me?
Sir Humphrey Can you clarify it for me? You are one of those who campaigned successfully for Brexit, in the referendum.
Minister Yes, but we didn’t expect to win.
Sir Humphrey What did you want?
Minister Sovereignty.
Sir Humphrey We had that already. What else?
Minister Control of our borders.
Sir Humphrey We had that too. Anything else?
Minister Look, when it came to the details, we all wanted something different. But we did agree on one vital essential.
Sir Humphrey Which was?
Minister Brexit. So how do we go about it?
……Minister So who really runs Europe?
Sir Humphrey Another interesting question. Well done, Minister! The European Union is run on an intricate and sophisticated system based on an hierarchical structure of interlocking and overlapping jurisdictions designed to separate the powers whilst reinforcing the authority of the departments, institutions and agencies who collectively and separately control and supervise the diverse activities of the Union and its associated organisations. So Europe is not run by the president of the European Council or the Council of the European Union but by the president of the European Commission, who is akin to prime minister of Europe because he is elected for five years and heads a cabinet government whereas the president of the Council, on the other hand, is not elected but appointed, and presides over the meetings of the Council, which is not the cabinet.
'Just move all the paperwork that we give you from your in-tray to your out-tray. We’ll do the rest'
Minister Who are the members of the European Council?
Sir Humphrey The European Council’s membership consists of the heads of member states while the Council of the European Union, on the other hand – which is often still referred to as the Council of Ministers – is the real voice of EU member governments, adopting EU laws and coordinating EU policies. Sometimes it is just called “the Council” in the interests of clarity. And they’re not even trying to be funny.
Minister It’s called the Council.
Sir Humphrey Yes – but the Council of the European Union should not be confused with the European Council nor with the Council of Europe – nor the Council of Ministers, which is also sometimes just called “the Council”, although it is not the same Council as the other Council and is in fact not an EU body at all.
Minister It’s not that simple, is it?
Sir Humphrey Would you like us to simplify it for you?
Minister I would.
Sir Humphrey In that case, just move all the paperwork that we give you from your in-tray to your out-tray. We’ll do the rest.
Minister Can I trust you?
Sir Humphrey Of course. We are your humble servants ...
Minister Yes, yes! I’ve heard all that. But are you in favour of Brexit?
Sir Humphrey That depends what it means.
Minister Brexit means Brexit.”

I think its like most comedy scripts – better seen than read.
Its from the red rag, so be warned: ... are_btn_tw.

As Mandy Rice-Davies said: ‘they would say that – wouldn’t they?’.

Sir Humphrey on why going into Europe was a Trojan Horse.

Is there any tradition of satire or political comedy in the Muslim World/Middle East or is the religious tradition of literalism a killer of this. I think history also shows that dictatorships and humour/satire don’t mix/lead to death and even Caesar Augustus – a sophisticated man in many areas – was short tempered in this area and sent Ovid to live with the Romanians, then and still a punishment worse than death. The perverted ancient Greeks were more liberal and civilized as they were in all things – but not now. Shakespeare’s comedy’s stayed well away from overt political satire because Elizabeth liked a bit of burning and hanging, drawing and quartering and of course there are still laws on the UK statutes protecting the Royal Family from the attacks they richly deserve and the newer London libel laws and court orders to suppress reporting are a long way away from the glory days of English free speech. The 18th century French were just silly elegant wordsmiths as they still are. The 20th century Germans and Italians do more satire than you would think – particularly Heinrich Mann and Dario Fo On the other hand Stalin, Hitler, Mao, Castro, Mussolini, Franco, Nasser, Gadhafi, Arafat, Pol Pot, North Korea, the Stasi, the blood soaked Cescescau and related all hated satire whereas Nehru, Ghandi, Ataturk, Mandela knew how to laugh but de Gaulle was congenitally unable to do so.

Hating satire and fearing ridicule is the best litmus test for a dictator brute because paranoia is their defining trait. Where Trump fits in on this I leave to you.

Of course Nigel Hawthorne who invented and played Sir H. would, consistent with Egyptian integrity and high culture, if he had visited Egypt would have been violently violated, proclaimed a pervert by the greatest medical profession in the world and then imprisoned for 20 years. Egyptian 'culture' would be vindicated by such actions and continue to lead the world in all matters - except military success, employment, paying the bills, keeping their people alive, the respect of other countries, reading and writing and surviving climate change.

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Re: Sir Humphrey 'fixes' Brexit.

Post by FarleyFlavors »

Similarly late but even more amusing - Alan Partridge vs Malcolm Tucker: The Great Big Brexit Grudge Match. ... -internet/
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