Luxor4u

Here are a few sayings hopefully some forum readers may want to add their own....

The lift does not go to the top floor, ------------- referring to someone who is not thinking right
Have they had their grey cells painted recently? ------- a thick person
Could not stop a pig in a passge ------- Someone who is bandy
Their backside must be going half crown, sixpence, dustbin lid, -------When you have got someone on a spot and they are tense.
Looks like a fairy on a gob of Lard ------- Normally said about "Dad Dancers"

Please continue Forum members, I would like to learn more!!

"The lift does not go to the top floor, ------------- referring to someone who is not thinking right"

Funnily enough, some friends and I were recently making a hilarious verbal list of these after one of us used the first one. Here are some I can remember:

They are depriving some village of its idiot
Is a few 'roos (or sheep) short in the top paddock
Is a few sandwiches short of a picnic
Is a few sausages short of a barbecue
The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
Has an IQ of room temperature
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
Donated his brain to science before he was done with it
If you gave them a penny for thoughts, you'd get change
The result of too much chlorine in the gene pool
Doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt
Most people drink from the fountain of knowledge, they only gargled
Any slower and he'd need to be watered once a week
Couldn't find their way out of a wet paper bag
If you stand close enough to them you can hear the sea
Lost contact with the mothership.

And the solution to such types?

There are too many stupid people in the world. I'm not saying we should kill them all or anything. Just take the warning labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself. (Not from me!)

Love these quips WI

Yes, 'Aussie-isms' can be funny. It was a long time ago now but a couple I remember were;

'The butter's slipped off his noodles' about somebody who's lost the plot a bit.

and:-

'He's so far up himself he's in danger of turning inside out' about somebody vain or egotistical.

Great stuff!

So sorry CE!
Would LOVE to share some Scottish ones but I fear they would be censored!
Another time and place,perhaps!!!

ST I used to live near Dunvegan on the Isle of Skye, we had a guest house there, so I know a few, but you should print some, just use asterix where you cannot print,

Looks like he's Stukkied again!!!! - Plastered
For goodness sake close the curtains on the pram, have just had a deep fried Mars Bar ---Harsh but speaks for itself.