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Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 3:35 pm
by Scottishtourist
I now feel that my days of visiting Luxor have come to an end.Don't think I'll come back.

Received some very sad news during the week.My lovely female friend in Luxor has died at age of 41.She leaves a husband and three children..and I'm grieving for her.A good,honest,decent Muslim girl..I've known her for 13 years..and she was much of the reason I used to come back.To enjoy shopping with her,catch up with her family,take the kids to MacDonalds,etc.

I feel that a part of my life has now died as well.Luxor will never be the same for me,now that she's not there.Cos even though she was Muslim woman..we had a lot in common,laughed,joked,chatted about children,men,etc.She never judged me,always complimented me on my clothes,my hair colour,my bikinis,etc.
She really was "one"in a million.And I will miss her so much..cos she accepted me for who I am..not a "bloody"tourist..but a sister,and a friend.

I'd like to light a candle for her tomorrow at 12o'clock Mass.I'd also like to say a prayer to Lord Jesus that she finds peace and rest in her Heaven..and that He will look after her and take care of her and her family.

Would this be offensive to a Muslim?Should I ask Pakistanis in local shop to say that prayer for me in their Mosque,on my behalf?

Or,do you think that I could say it better myself to my own God,and he will listen and hear my prayer?

The last thing I want to do is offend her religion and faith.

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 3:46 pm
by Major Thom
To be honest I think it would be a nice gesture and bring the thought of the two religions being close together, I cannot see these actions being offensive in anyway, you are expressing your grief in the way you know how to, and in remembrance of your friend.

"Al Bakha Lay La"

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 3:55 pm
by HEPZIBAH
How can your prayers offend? I don't understand that. It is your prayer, coming from your heart, why would you place that in the hands of others. I have, on many occasions, been asked by muslim friends- male and female, young and old, to pray for them. Sometimes this has been a telephone request but sometimes I have had the privalege of praying with the person.
Your friendship with this lady was personal - your prayers should be too.

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 4:01 pm
by newcastle
Strange question.

You believe in the SAME god!

And how could your prayers, presumably private, offend anyone?

And if you were to tell her husband that you's prayed for his late wife I expect he'd be grateful.

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 4:02 pm
by Scottishtourist
Major Thom wrote:To be honest I think it would be a nice gesture and bring the thought of the two religions being close together, I cannot see these actions being offensive in anyway, you are expressing your grief in the way you know how to, and in remembrance of your friend.

"Al Bakha Lay La"
Thank you MT.
I really hoped that someone on forum would see it same way as I do.Without all the criticism that I would be offending Islam,etc.
I once asked the question..Is there ONE heaven,where all people of all nationalities and faiths meet up?

If so..then when my dad and his wife visited Luxor and met this lovely woman..he may just be there waiting up there for her and will welcome her,just the way that she did when she invited dad and his wife for a meal in her home.

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 4:11 pm
by Scottishtourist
newcastle wrote:Strange question.

You believe in the SAME god!

And how could your prayers, presumably private, offend anyone?

And if you were to tell her husband that you's prayed for his late wife I expect he'd be grateful.
And,if I had to tell forum that this was what I had done for a Muslim women,once it was all done and dusted..then I'd probably be berated for doing the wrong thing..and showing NO respect!

Even though last time I was there,my beautiful friend asked me to pray for her!
Don't think she really cared so much that I wouldn't be praying to Allah.A prayer is a prayer..and thankfully,she respected my Catholic religion and my Christianity.

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 4:36 pm
by LovelyLadyLux
@ST - presumably you know all the people on the Forum(s) who are living in Luxor are really just regular people. They're just like your neighbours and people about your town. They have no great insights or knowledge or education requiring you defer to them. The only difference between them and you is that they live in Luxor.

Don't hold them as the be all, know all, expert in all re: Islam, Muslim, Egypt. They probably know more about what is going on day to day IN Luxor coz they live there but other than that they're not at all the final say on all things Muslim.

Why do you feel the need to seek their opinion and presumably their approval? Would you ask a random neighbor?

And - why when this is something very personal to you would you ask anybody anything at all?

Do what makes you happy and what gives you closure. Life isn't a stage show. There are no encores, second acts or do overs. Do what is in your heart to honour your friend in your way. No need to even tell anybody what you've done unless you really feel the need to talk to express your own grief at her passing. Therapeutically the acting of doing something to honour the memory of a loved one is the first step to healing.

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 4:40 pm
by newcastle
Scottishtourist wrote:
newcastle wrote:Strange question.

You believe in the SAME god!

And how could your prayers, presumably private, offend anyone?

And if you were to tell her husband that you's prayed for his late wife I expect he'd be grateful.
And,if I had to tell forum that this was what I had done for a Muslim women,once it was all done and dusted..then I'd probably be berated for doing the wrong thing..and showing NO respect!

No you wouldn't. ...you silly woman!

Even though last time I was there,my beautiful friend asked me to pray for her!
Don't think she really cared so much that I wouldn't be praying to Allah.

Your god and Allah are one and the same. What are you talking about!! You worship the same god...in different ways

A prayer is a prayer..and thankfully,she respected my Catholic religion and my Christianity.

Of course she would. You are both " people of the book"
I'm beginning to wonder whether you understand Christianity and Islam at all

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 4:47 pm
by Dusak
very confusing statements. If you had done it then posted about your actions, you then expected to be criticized for it, so, you tell us about what you propose doing still rabbiting on about being criticized before the event. It seems that you are determined to make our minds up for us without the necessity of us commenting. A one sided argument that seems to validate what you ether think or would like to see happen. As for the loss of your friend, any loss is sad, but Muslims believe that they are in a far better place than this transit point called earth, as yours does, so no disrespect would be shown or seen by saying a prayer for her. The two religions run a very close parallel path of understanding with each other. But I would say that such a loss of a friend is not a strong reason for not returning to Luxor, quite the opposite I would of thought as you could of visited her final resting place and made a more personal thanks towards your combined friendships. Again, it looks like a familiar attempt to find excuses not to return here ever again.

9 of ''never coming again.''
6 of ''maybe if things get better or Spain is full.''
4 of ''I will be there next week/month.''
10 of ''Well, I've just returned from Luxor and its the pits, a total shithole....

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 5:48 pm
by Scottishtourist
newcastle wrote:
Scottishtourist wrote:
newcastle wrote:

I'm beginning to wonder whether you understand Christianity and Islam at all
With all due respect newcastle,I've never purported to understand Christianity nor Islam.I just believe what I have been taught.I have no need to search too deeply and find fault with my faith.I also think that my friend never questioned her Islamic faith.She was born into it and never felt the need to question it's teachings.

I'm merely asking for advice because I do not want to be slated later on forum for disrespecting Islam,nor for disrespecting my friend.

P.s..note your fan club has hit the like button.Must've been the "silly woman"comment that appealed to her!
What a ghoul,lol!

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 5:54 pm
by Who2
14083....8)
Ps: can we get rid of that bleeding L4U scarab obliterating wise words ?

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 6:07 pm
by newcastle
Who2 wrote:14083....8)
Ps: can we get rid of that bleeding L4U scarab obliterating wise words ?
Talking of Illuminati reminds me of that sequel to The Da Vinci Code....the one where some demented priest gets his jollies flogging himself.

That's why ST trolls in here every weekend. ...for a bit of flagellation at the hands of L4U members.

Bloody cheek I say! There are clubs she could go to for a spot of abuse. I suppose it's her Scottish thriftiness to come here and get it for free :lol:

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 6:41 pm
by Scottishtourist
newcastle wrote:
That's why ST trolls in here every weekend. ...for a bit of flagellation at the hands of L4U members.

Bloody cheek I say! There are clubs she could go to for a spot of abuse. I suppose it's her Scottish thriftiness to come here and get it for free :lol:
Sick comment newcastle.
Just sick,ignorant and not in the least understanding nor sympathetic.

I suggest that it's you who "gets your rocks off"being so bloody nasty and bullying.And,you have a lot of support in doing so.

Well..I'm so pleased I met this woman 13 years ago.Cos,quite honestly,no ex-pat there could ever fill her shoes with regards to honesty,decency,and dare I say it..respect for a fellow human being.
Yes..I've lost a dear friend.You've lost NOTHING..cos your cheek,insolence,disrespect,and total ignorance will negate any friendship that you ever purport to have..unless you're paying them for the priviledge!

I suggest that you and your harem are the trolls..sick people,,with sick thoughts and minds.

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 7:51 pm
by newcastle
:a67: :a67:

You love it :lol:

Time for your medicine? :P

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2016 9:22 pm
by Mad Dilys
Scottishtourist wrote:I now feel that my days of visiting Luxor have come to an end.Don't think I'll come back.

Received some very sad news during the week.My lovely female friend in Luxor has died at age of 41.She leaves a husband and three children..and I'm grieving for her.A good,honest,decent Muslim girl..I've known her for 13 years..and she was much of the reason I used to come back.To enjoy shopping with her,catch up with her family,take the kids to MacDonalds,etc.

I feel that a part of my life has now died as well.Luxor will never be the same for me,now that she's not there.Cos even though she was Muslim woman..we had a lot in common,laughed,joked,chatted about children,men,etc.She never judged me,always complimented me on my clothes,my hair colour,my bikinis,etc.
She really was "one"in a million.And I will miss her so much..cos she accepted me for who I am..not a "bloody"tourist..but a sister,and a friend.

I'd like to light a candle for her tomorrow at 12o'clock Mass.I'd also like to say a prayer to Lord Jesus that she finds peace and rest in her Heaven..and that He will look after her and take care of her and her family.

Would this be offensive to a Muslim?Should I ask Pakistanis in local shop to say that prayer for me in their Mosque,on my behalf?

Or,do you think that I could say it better myself to my own God,and he will listen and hear my prayer?

The last thing I want to do is offend her religion and faith.
My condolences on the loss of your friend and at such a young age. She obviously brought great pleasure to you and I'm sure that it was returned and accepted with love in true friendship. You were lucky to have her for 13 years so remember her without sadness but all the good times. She is in a better place Inshallah.

There is only one God and prayer in faith is a wonderful thing, surely?

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 9:22 am
by hatusu
ST wrote "I'd like to light a candle for her tomorrow at 12o'clock Mass.I'd also like to say a prayer to Lord Jesus that she finds peace and rest in her Heaven..and that He will look after her and take care of her and her family.
Would this be offensive to a Muslim?Should I ask Pakistanis in local shop to say that prayer for me in their Mosque,on my behalf?"

There are about 20 Christian families living here in the village of Gezira on the West Bank side by side with Moslems. They go to each other's funerals.

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 12:06 pm
by BENNU
In the streets of Luxor last night, there was a lot of shouting. It was Muslims wishing Christians a happy feast and Christians on their way to church, sharing their joy with Muslims.

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 2:16 pm
by Scottishtourist
This beautiful lady was a good friend to me..and taught me more about Islam than anyone on this forum will ever do.

Last time me and sis were in Hurghada,her and her hubby and family joined us.They stayed in Hilton (longbeach)and we joined them there for the few days they were staying.She sat on sunbed next to me.her in full dress and me in bikini.

There was never any hint from her of me being disrespectful.We even went into swimming pool together..and I realise now that at the time she was very ill.But her love and friendship made many a trip to Luxor worthwhile..and I will miss her forever.

I can never envisage meeting another person in Luxor who will affect me in this way.She really was "one"in a million.An educated woman,a teacher..and most importantly a true friend,honest and trustworthy.

May she rest in peace and enjoy everything that her Paradise has to offer.x

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 8:12 am
by crewmeal
Religion is and should be a personal thing. It has waged wars for centuries and judging by this forum is still doing so!

Re: Appropriate..or not?

Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 4:30 pm
by Scottishtourist
O.k..another question.

My sister and me spoke to her husband recently.As you can imagine it was a rather sad phone call.He's devastated and feeling completely bereft.
He has been widowed at a relatively early age and is now left with three children to bring up without the care and support of his wife and their mum.
We have promised him that we will go back to Luxor when flights resume and will pay our respects to his wife and our lovely friend.
So..what's the protocol for visiting a Muslim grave?
Are flowers acceptable?Could I bring a little plaque from Scotland and adorn her final resting place with it?

Or is this inappropriate..and would be seen as offensive?

I'm asking for advice because I just don't know the proper procedure that should be followed.
Are flowers,plaques,etc,considered "vulgar"in Muslim cemetaries?