Luxor4u

So, big G decides enough it enough, time for the 2nd coming. Sends Jesus back and He begins to preach the end of times. Nobody takes any notice - they are all looking at their phones, following the lives of celebrities.

Eventually Jesus decided he needs better promotion and should get an agent. Finds an agent who explains, look, to grab attention, you really need to big spectacular event. "I can organise the publicity, the TV, etc - you just do something really impressive. How about walking on water?"

So, a few weeks later, Jesus and his agent arrive at the Sea of Galilee. 1,000s of people, TV crews, everybody waiting. Jesus and his agent get into a boat and head out to the middle of the Sea of Galilee.

"Right", says the agent, "your big chance. Get this right and you'll be on TV around the world and you can preach to millions".

So, Jesus steps over the side of the boat and starts walking. 1, 2, 3 steps. Something isn't quite right -water up to the knees. Another couple of steps an He goes under. The TV crews pack up and leave, everybody goes.

His agent pulls Jesus out - "What went wrong, you managed OK 2,000 years ago".

Spoiler

Jesus says "I didn't have any holes in my feet then …"

Very funny, and from a non-believer who didn't feel the need to say something insulting or nasty. Well done!

Teddyboy wrote: Sat Apr 16, 2022 9:45 am Very funny, and from a non-believer who didn't feel the need to say something insulting or nasty. Well done!

I’ve never felt the need to insult religion…..although I appreciate that some of those who have religious beliefs are offended by jokes involving religion. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the intent which matters.You may have noticed that causing offence doesn’t bother me that much

One of my favourite films ( never shown at Easter for some reason) ! is The Life of Brian….

I actually envy, in some way, those who have sincere religious convictions, are genuinely convinced there’s some purpose to our existence and that there’s an existence beyond our mortal life. I can see the comfort one could derive from this.

Unfortunately, my scientifically orientated brain just won’t accept it without some evidence.

I don't intend to preach here, but the benefits of Christianity are more evident in this life, we expect the next one to come as a bonus.
I also howled at The Life of Brian, and found nothing in it which was remotely offensive.

….the benefits of Christianity are more evident in this life….

It would appear that the benefits have escaped me! I could write a book on the damage Christianity - or rather some of its doctrines - has done over the centuries since it arose.

But, if you’ll forgive me, religion is one of those topics on which I find discussion pointless.

You either get it…..or you don’t

"But, if you’ll forgive me, religion is one of those topics on which I find discussion pointless."

I dislike 'religion' intensely, so I can agree with you there. But of course, as I'm a Christian, I'd forgive you anyway!