Why is it...?

[HEPZIBAH]

Why is it that Egyptians (friends and strangers) find it so easy to tell you all their woes: health problems, relationship issues, employment concerns, etc.?
You listen to them, often for hours (or at least that's what it feels like) and try to be understanding and add positive comments where possible.
Why is it that Egyptians (friends and strangers) find it so easy, if you mention that you are having a difficult time, it is brushed off?
There is no understanding that your circumstances may be not so good (at best) or actually very dire, be it health, finance, employment...whatever.

I have not been back to Egypt for a number of years now, and one of the things I have not missed is those types of conversations that I realise were so draining on my own mental and emotional state.

[BENNU]

It is draining, Hepzibah. I am usually spared but have overheard countless dinner conversations between local men and tourists, where it is all about how hard life is in Egypt, not my idea of a hot date. I notice how the foreigners will tilt their heads in pity, getting ready to pay for operations, cars etc.

An otherwise charismatic gentleman called me and complained about the terrible heat. I had just returned from Luxor when it was 46°C, so I knew. No business, too many expenses … After seventeen years in Luxor, I know that there is no business in the summertime. I mentioned my own obstacles and he interrupted: ”Everybody has problems, you are not the only one!”

He then suggested marriage and I asked him how he would expect a local woman to respond to such a proposal: “Oooh, my life is hard, no money, no business, bad health, too many children - will you marry me?”

[Yildez]

It is draining, Hepzibah. I am usually spared but have overheard countless dinner conversations between local men and tourists, where it is all about how hard life is in Egypt, not my idea of a hot date. I notice how the foreigners will tilt their heads in pity, getting ready to pay for operations, cars etc.

An otherwise charismatic gentleman called me and complained about the terrible heat. I had just returned from Luxor when it was 46°C, so I knew. No business, too many expenses … After seventeen years in Luxor, I know that there is no business in the summertime. I mentioned my own obstacles and he interrupted: ”Everybody has problems, you are not the only one!”

He then suggested marriage and I asked him how he would expect a local woman to respond to such a proposal: “Oooh, my life is hard, no money, no business, bad health, too many children - will you marry me?”

What an attractive offer! How could you refuse him!

[BENNU]

How could you refuse him!

I have not given him my answer, but he has stopped complaining.

[Teddyboy]

Your complaints (or mine, or any other tourist) are brushed off because you/we are of no consequence! Except, of course when we're a source of monetary assistance.
I don't mean to be too harsh, here; but we all know (deep down) that whatever our relationship with an Egyptian native is, it really depends on our ongoing ability to be useful to them in one way or another.
It's partially a cultural thing, and as long as we know the score, then it's OK. The real problems come to light when the usefulness of the relationship has come to an end. Sometimes such a relationship is ended by the tourist, which can sometimes result in all sorts of unpleasant consequences being engineered by the Egyptian. (A possible discussion for another day.) Then sometimes it's ended by the Egyptian, often involving a 'business wife', and where she/he has to seek assistance from the British Consul (or anywhere, for that matter!) in order to pay for a flight home.
I'm confident that Hepzibah is aware of this sort of scenario after her many years of visiting, and also BENNU, being a regular visitor who immerses herself in the culture more than most.

[HEPZIBAH]

I'm confident that Hepzibah is aware of this sort of scenario after her many years of visiting, ...

Absolutely. I had read all sorts of tales before ever I became a regular visitor, and they served as caution to my behaviour and associations over the years.

[BENNU]

Most Egyptians that I meet are proud Saidis and I do not hear them complaining, even when I know that they have been struggling for years.

A few of the men I see entertaining foreigners with their troubles are doing very well.

[BENNU]

Worried about Queen Elizabeth, I had watched the Danish news all afternoon. Shortly after the passing of the queen had been announced, I happened to receive a social call from an Egyptian friend, so I shared the sad news with him.

“Everyone dies”, he replied.

“It happened just now”, I said.

“We all have to die!”

“You love to talk about pharaohs and queens, now UK has a king, this is a moment of history.”

“You know that only Egypt has history and civilisation! I am very angry with you now, goodbye!”

[Teddyboy]

Should you have bolstered his ego a bit more?

[HEPZIBAH]

Bennu, that conversation sounds so familiar. It's not so much the exact words but the tone and attitude.
Have you noticed though that if we attempt to adopt that sort of stance we are totally misunderstood.